What strange fruit is this? And what is the taste of that golden treasure, coyly nestled within the fragile folds of her delicate bloom?And from what far-flung reach of our Empire does this modest dainty hail?
(No prizes for the right answer, of course...)
6 comments:
Is it the rare East-Indian Vicar's Testicle?
The Parson's Plum?
The fruit of, of, I hesitate to utter the name, the fruit of Bollock Bush?
Being clearly at a loss for a more botanical name, I'll cobble up some Latin and posit that it's the rare Ballus Largus, of the genuis Testiculii.
The heat's getting to me. Time for a brandy and ginger ale, I think. Horrocks! Horrocks! Fetch me my usual, and be quick about it for God's sake, man!
you are thrusting in entirely the wrong direction, sinjin. It's definitely not large... Try again! Miss E has seen me enjoying this fruit on one of those video-tele-mimeographers ... perhaps she can enlighten you more as to how it loooks in practice...
Great Scott - I haven't a clue! To be honest, it looks like an overly exotic tomato.
Hang on, it's not a persimmon, is it? The devil's fruit?
Nay, 'tis not the Devil's fruit, nor is it Satan's dangly. Try again, gentle reader...
So it's not Beelzebub's Bollocks then, either?
I'm confounded, I'm flabbergasted, and I admit I have less of an idea now than when I first made my hilarious stabs at an answer.
Speak, man, reveal your secret! What the deuce is it?
I am shocked, I say, shocked! that people on such sensitive assignments in such far-flung places could have so poor an understanding of the fruits of those colonies which were won for Her Majesty by the struggle and sweat of previous generations of Englishmen! Forsooth, it gives me cause to doubt the adequacy of the classical education you are reported to have received!
Clearly this fruit is the physalis, commonly known as the cape gooseberry, from Colombia. According to Mr. Waitrose, my local supplier of exotic fruits and meats, it has "the tang of a fresh tomato and the sweetness of a pineapple" and is "a decorative addition to desserts, and delicious dipped in chocolate".
Back to your schoolbooks, fellow travellers! Lest you be caught in the jungle, eyeing up a tarantula and a bush of physalis, and wondering "are they poisonous? Or tangy like a tomato?"
...
Post a Comment